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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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We have a transatlantic Wanker this week. His name is Chris Fehlinger, and he's a New York waiter. Fed up with people giving him stingy tips, he created the Shitty Tipper Database. Waiters and waitresses who feel they've been short-changed by their customers take the names off their credit cards and post the details on the internet.
 
Their idea of a Shitty Tip is anything less than 17% of the bill total. There are some poor saps listed in their database who were misguided enough to give only 15% - how mean of them. But leaving aside the question of what constitutes a Shitty Tip and what doesn't, the whole concept stinks.
 
OK, no doubt waiters and waitresses are poorly paid. Boo, shame. But why is that our problem, exactly? The GOS was a teacher once, and he was poorly paid but it never occurred to him to ask the children for tips to make up. When he goes to a restaurant he pays a very handsome price for the food he eats and the service he receives - when was the last time you ever found a restaurant that was actually cheap? So if the management are not paying their staff properly, why should the staff look to the GOS to make up the difference? They should be visiting their annoyance on the management, not on him!
 
Then there's the question of quality. If the GOS gets poor service or poor food, he certainly wouldn't tip - that's fairly obvious. Fehlinger says that as most places pool tips, not tipping a slapdash waiter means penalising the bartender, the busboys (whatever they are) and the other waiters as well. But if you follow that argument to its logical conclusion, you get some ... well, pretty strange results. For instance, if the goalie makes a blunder during a football match and the ball ends up in the net, would anyone suggest that the goal should be disallowed for fear of penalising the rest of the team? In 1939 did anyone suggest that although Hitler was a criminal lunatic we shouldn't fight him for fear of penalising the rest of the German nation? If you're part of a team, you benefit from the good actions of each member of the team, and suffer from each one's mistakes. Unless you're an American waiter, apparently, when the world owes you a living regardless.
 
If the Shitty Tipper Database existed in the UK, it would probably be illegal under the terms of the Data Protection Act, because they're taking information off the customer's credit card and publicising it without permission.
 
The database website does give Shitty Tippers the opportunity to contact them and "apologise". That's great - Fehlinger has invented an offence (giving a tip less than 17% of the bill), ripped confidential information from the customer's credit card, publicised it on the internet, and he expects the customer to apologise? If the GOS ever found himself on this list, his apology would be more likely to involve a baseball bat and some reconstructive surgery.
 

 
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